My god I am a dork. I am a fool and a dork. I'm actually really stupid for letting my little grey cells get away from me and conjure up all these horrible thoughts that didn't happen. Why? Because I missed a phone call last night.
Ok, so it was Saturday and I figured I'd see if Tats wanted to go out and do something. We had chatted online for a little and he said to call him later if I wanted to hang out. So I did around 9ish. I waited. Then I waited some more. Then I waited some more and drove down to 7-11 to find something to eat for dinner (yeah ok I need to work on that part). Well, by the time that 11 had rolled around I was convinced that he was playing me and felt like an idiot, and knew that love will never come my way...blah blah blah. Yeah...cry me a river huh?
So this morning I find out that when I had drop out to 7-11 he had called and I hadn't seen in on my phone. DOH! Not to mention he just called heheh. Now I have no clue what I'm doing here with Tats. I have nary an idea where any of this is leading but I'm trying to go with the flow of things. I'll let ya in on a secret here, which isn't really much of a secret but...I've never really dated anyone. Yup. I had a "relationship" which was only in my mind apparently (loooooong story for another time), but never really had a boyfriend so you'd notice. This of course makes me feel like I am back in Jr. High saying "gee..I um...really like you....um...wanna go steady?" Yup....the dork factor is high in this little camper here.
Tomorrow is Halloween and I guess I should be excited. I'll probably just dress up in my goth attire and head out to work. Just wish that it had fallen on the weekend so I could have gone out or something. I didn't make it to the party Friday because I felt exhausted and didn't want to risk driving over one my least favorite highways where it seems there is always a fatal wreck. Last thing I need is to get in a car accident and die. That would suck! Alas...another weekend gone but I'm doing to push myself this coming weekend to actually go out and do something like dance. There's a goth club in Santa Cruz every 1st Friday of the month and dammit, if I have to drink a pot and a half of coffee I'm going! If I have to think of myself as a character in a play I'm going and that person is going to dance and have a good time dammit!
Only 9pm here and I'm already sleepy but I need to paint the nails black for tomorrow :) I'll see if I can get someone to take a picture of me in my semi-goth (because I'm not going to be wearing my velvet at work!) tomorrow.
4 comments:
Funny, I went as Emily the Strange this year and everyone thought I was a little goth girl (then again, she IS a little goth girl).
I hope you have a great Halloween, and no worries about the dating thing... I had been in a relationship with someone for 13 years (it was a girl and we were even engaged, but then I realized I needed to admit that I like boys), and I immediately started a relationship with a guy for three years. We broke up last November, and so I've been learning how to "date" since January (and I'm 36). So I'm right there with you.
xo
Hi Michael!
Everytime I read your posts it puts an smile on my face. You are so honest, and you share so incredible much if your self. You wanna know a secret from me? I have not been on a real date in so many years that I have forgotten when it was. And I am sure that if someone would like to date me I would chicken out.. Yepps.. I would also be like a teenager if that would happen :)
I hope that your Halloween will be great, here in Sweden (we who want everything you Amerikans have) won't celebrate Halloween until the weekend. My son has picked my dress, I am gonna be a witch..but he was disapointed..He said that a witch can't look sweet as I did in the dress, he wanted me to look scary..hehe.. But I guess there must be good witches as well. (Is that right spelled btw?"witch")
Take care and all that.. And I will keep my fingers crossed that this TATS-thing will be a succes :)
//Camilla
Hey - a little dork can be sweet, endearing and down right sexy...
Ooooh. Goth works for me. Hope you have a great time.
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