Is it enough? Yeah....to me it is. There's a sense of faith and trust that I haven't had before. Sometimes hard to deal with, but, nonetheless I wouldn't change anything. But am I doing enough? That's the big issue to me. Could I do things better, work harder, try harder? yeah...I think I could, and I'm planning on doing just that.
My Christmas plans are ... well a bit stimied until tomorrow night when I can hopefully get this damn picture done. Why do I want to send out cards? Because it's one of the few ways I can show folks how much they mean to me and that their friendship means a lot. Sometimes something little, even a card, means a great deal (specially when you're as sentimental as I am).
The mindspace has been really wierd for me lately. Stress at work, should be eating better...a lot of those little things that remind me that I need to not take my job so seriously. Need to get away from it being my life, because if I don't, I'm worried that I'm going to miss something miraculous. Still...maybe it's just time to change up again? Move on to a new job? Maybe I just need to change me a little.
My nephew smiled at me tonight. Then an amazing thing happened...I got my first giggle from him. Yes, silly uncle stuff but it seems to be a big hit with him! he smiled and giggled at me, grabbed my fingers and ate one for a while (hey, baby drool ain't so bad when it's your nephew ok!), and damn but do I love him. He may not be my kid, but I love that little bugger. Course, I love his folks too. They ... well I don't know what to say about them. They're just wonderful people who I'm glad are my friends.
Deconstruction of the studio began. I'm throwing out things finally. Part of my past is leaving me forever and thank the Goddess! I've found more space, but now I feel I need to really organize it. Small spaces can be difficult when you don't do this house cleaning often enough. Boxes of stuff you never use...gone! Next it's going to have to be things like books which is going to be SO damn hard to get rid of. Course, I have a used bookstore so..credit towards MORE book! Luckily for me though....they usually don't have much of what i want to read so, I guess the credit will go to buying those books I meant to read and never did. I want to read the classics more. Want to delve into things like Cantebury Tales, Moby Dick, 1984, and Keats and Shelley. It helps though that they do sell graphic novels (the comics thank you) so I can feed that moster a bit too.
I hope to soon have this place in shape. I hope to figure out what to do about the job situation cause i do want a bigger place. I want to have a place for me and Jon one day. All that good stuff in my head. Yes, I gush. But who gives a crap? He makes me happy and I love him. So why the hell wouldn't I want to give him the world? But first, I guess it's gotta start with me getting off my ass and finishing cleaning...then figuring out the job and all that stuff.
Guess cleaning it therapudic, cobwebs are gone, old negativity vanishing, and now all that room for good stuff. Yeah...*smile* I already got good stuff, but I plan on making more...for everyone.
Be safe. Be well. Be PROUD! Be Loved!!
2 comments:
I know what you mean.
When I broke up with my ex, now my roomate, I moved into a smaller room.
I did so much cleaning, got rid of a lot of packed un-used stuff.
As for the books, just start small. It works. Try removing 5 or so and then next week or the next day you can remove 5 more. I cut my book colection in half that way.
I don't miss them cause I kept the ones that are really dear to me, and I found some I haven't even read.
As for kids, I don't want any, but I know what you mean. I feel the same about my niece. They actually moved pretty far away. I don't really see her anymore.
hey bro thanx 4 the card. we will talk soon and u can update me on all the stuff going on! love ya!
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