Random, random blatherings of my mind

Ok....so something is really off on my internet tonight I think. Mind ya, I have three spyware programs, run a firewall, AND have my techy friends that come over and fix things that I fu..er..mess up here. (thank you will for getting my Itunes back to me!)

Well I did just get my answer to one thing....apparently Blogger.com was doing some kinda updating and that's why all my pages were loading so bloody slowly. Again it proves this : I constantly build things up in my mind that aren't as big a deal as I think they are. I am a worrier.

I just don't know sometimes. Maybe I've got one of the best imaginations going when it comes to the "gloom and doom" department. Not sure why but I always expect the worst scenario to show up. Well I do know why. I expect it so when if it doesn't show up, I'm relieved. Probably sounds really silly to most folks but a long time ago I heard this song from the movie The Twelve Chairs that said "Hope for the best, expect the worst". If ya think about it, it kinda makes sense. Yeah, I let my mind wander too much I suppose but expecting the worst...you're ready for it if it happens. No, I'm not saying that I always expect the worst to happen, but in some ways I like to prepare myself so maybe it won't wreck me as much ya know?

Maybe it's the bills that keep coming. I open my little mailbox every day hoping for my latest Rolling Stone, or maybe a surprise letter from a distant friend somewhere, or something I had forgotten I had ordered and what do I find? Junk mail and bills. Whee the fun of mail. Oish. That's why email is grand. Most of the spam gets shuttled off to some obscure corner of your email site and all you get is the good stuff. Now if I would just get my damned subscriptions coming on time I'd be a little happier. Mail is just another clever way of telling you, you exist.

So I have a cellphone that I use more than the homephone (I was getting calls from someone that hopefully has gone away now but I'm never sure). Problem is that my battery seems to be for shite. I'm constantly charging the damn thing and when it gets low, I don't hear it ring, or feel it vibrate. Really starting to bug the crap out of me because only folks that have that number are people I'd actually want to chat with. Which also brings to mind the fact that it doesn't go off nearly enough anymore. Sometimes I hate the fact that everyone seems to be having a much busier life, or more interesting one, than mine. Feh to the negative thinking. But the phone bill showed up today....whee.

I'm sure that this is possibly the most boring posting I have ever written...problem is I'm addicted to writing here now. I'm still not sure how much of my innerself to put out there. Seeing the troubles other folks have been having, makes me slighlty apprehensive to really open up. I said it before, and I mean it and will say it again, that I've met really amazing people because of this silly little blog. People that I think of as my friends. How they see me? I don't know, but in my mind, these are the folks that I'd like to hang out with. Just hope that they/you know that.

Seeing as I bought a new game for my PS2 (Todd MacFarlin's Evil Prophecy), I think it's time I do a little butt kickin on the monsters. Going to see Merry Wives Of Windsor again tomorrow night with a group from my shop, so at least one night this weekend I'll be out of the house and doing something interesting. Hell...I should have friggin invited Altboy, and I still may...if he's working tomorrow. I'll find out one way or another bout that boy dammit ;)