Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving day. It's come and gone. It was quiet for me. Nice too. Piece and quiet sort of is needed at times. The world get so hectic with work, and this and that. A lovely bit of lamb for dinner, some chicken stock simmering on my stove, and talking with people on the phone made the day enjoyable.

Time used to be linear. Now, it seems it's faster or slower, not constant. A minute talking with him on the phone has actually been a hour. And I slip through time again and again catching those minutes in my hand, and holding them for all they're worth.

News from the homefront seemed disheartening to some degree. They are after all my blood relations and family. Now I have to contend with the knowledge that I should have been more accepting, more forgiving, a better person to some degree. It's not that anyone is dead or diing, but still, where the hell is my compassion? Where did I lose myself again and again and again? I picked up a spell book for the first time in I don't know how long today and realized what I have the potential to do. I think it's time.

But I am thankful. I have friends that while they may be next door or miles away are amazingly sweet and caring. I have the fam that while I do not see them often, are there reguardless. I have a love, someone that hides away in my heart to make me smile. Who could ask for more than that? What do I need with prestige or fame? I am loved, and I love them all back. If that is not something to be thankful for, what is?

I feel as if I slipped away again. I don't know where I went exactly, but I need to pull myself back. It happened once before and I swore I wouldn't do it this time around. And I have him there, someone to remind me of why I need to be better. After all, I want him to have a man that he can be proud of.

There are so many people to say I love you to and thank for being my friends. When the day is over, and it's quiet in the world and I can finally think, it's thought of my baby and my friends. Certainly I want things for myself. I want better than I have at the moment, but that can come in time. And if I never have it? Would I rather be rich and famous and not have these people or my babe? No. I'd rather be poor, content, and have the love I feel for and from people. That's what I need to remember.

So thank you. Thank you little brother. Thank you Mikey. Thank you Rey. Thank you Jim. Thank you Steve. Thank you Kalvin. Thank you Dan. Thank you Alden. Thank you Ari. Thank you Miladsya. Thank you Brad. Thank you Nathan. Thank you Simon. Thank you Gerald, you are not forgotten although not with us now. Thank you Francesco for reminding me of the power of faith (whether you know it or not). Thank you Sue. Thank you Pete. Thank you Philly. Thank you J. Thank you Dan and Hawley. Thank you Chryssa, my little sister. Thank you James, my brother. Thank you Doll, my sister who I wish I could tell how much I truly love. Thank you Dave, my brother. Thank you all who instill in me feelings of being cared for and loved that I may not have mentioned. There really are so many of you out there to say thank you to.

Thank you babe. You took me from a place where I was drifting and brought me back to life whehter you knew it or not. Good times or bad, we'll go through it together. I'm there to lift you up, just as I know you're there to do the same for me. I can't think of anything else to be more greatful or thankful for.

I am sentimental. I am sappy. I am a big push over at times. But to feel this much love reminds me that I am alive, and that is good. I hope that everyone's day was fill with joy, and food, and festivities...or simply a time to sit and relax, to smile, to just be. And if there was anyone left orphaned as so many of us can be at the holiday times...you do have a family, and you are loved, if only by we fellow solitary few.

Be safe. Be well. Be PROUD! Be LOVED!