Phase one of my Christmas plans in action. Now I have to get the photo together for my cards. And why send them? Because people need to know, even if only at one or two times of the year how special they are. How even if you don't talk for long periods of time that they are cared for and thought about. And it's Christmas for cryin out loud! Last year, there was no spirit for me....but this year I want to wrap up presents for the world!
My man....Jon :) What can I say other than I'm dreaming of the time Jon and I can be together. Fantasy of sitting infront of a fire on Christmas eve with all our loved ones with us...together. I wish I knew how to truly say to him how much I love him and how much he means to me. Maybe that's the essence of love though that there are no words....just feeling. All I know is that he makes me happy, makes me feel like everything is all right. Just looking at his picture does this to me. "Is that the way love acts?" someone asked me...my answer is, "Fuckin A right it is!"
What to do about the family? The blood relatives. Presents need to be sent. I need to get a passport as well, and expidited because I'm getting sent for 4 days to Costa Rica in January. (at least it's going to be warm!) Mostly business going to see production at one of the farms we buy coffee from, but there is a few days freetime for me and my coworker. So how do I afford presents, passport, and still manage things like rent, utitilities? Guess that's what Christmas is about though...cause I don't really care about the money that much. Rent being paid and the phone and PG&E....I've learned to eat creatively when need be.
My little brother Ryan said in a comment " i love buyin gifts they feelin it gives me inside kinda like when mikeys near." (Mikey being his boyfriend) and he's right. I think that feeling of finding just the right thing for someone. Or surprising someone that wasn't expecting anything and watching their eyes light up. That's my joy on Christmas and giving presents. Yes I am also greedy and love getting presents, but to some degree I actually prefer the giving. This year having someone I feel so committed to in love, well I want to shower my babe with presents but I'm not sure the pocket will allow that. Maybe it's time to get creative again.
There is so much love. So much love flowing lately just in general that I feel that the world must be gearing up for something wonderous. Collective mind attempting to make changes for the better. Certainly the news can be proof of the opposite, but if we could all just work together...just that little time taken thinking about making the world a more loving place? Hell, then maybe it would be Christmas every day. Or at least, we could have a little more peace and understanding and that's not so bad either.
Be safe. Be well. Be PROUD! Be Loved!
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