An odd blog

First of all, thank you all for the sweet words and thoughts on my last post. The funny thing is that by the time I had finished writing it, I was actually feeling a lot better. That's why I chose the Beatlesesque word "Blue-ish". But it's nice to know that I have so many great folks out there reguardless.

So I started writing this last night (what follows) and had to save it as a draft for various reasons, so part of this post is from last night, part from tonight..

I just came back (computerwise) from Voyeur Nation, the website of a man I had never met, never talked to, and sadly didn't know. A lot of my friends did know him. There are lovely tributes to Marc all over the blogsphere right now. What saddens me is that they have taken down the posting that were up last night. It was the only way I had to know who this person was, and some of what he had to say really hit home for me. I wish that they hadn't taken down the posting he had put up about, if memory from last night serves, a Joy Log. How did I manage to miss this guy? From all I could read last night, he was truly amazing. If you want to know what he was like, I say look at these folks blogs to see what an impact a person can make on a group of people. To all that knew Marc, I am so sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry for myself not having gotten to meet him in time.

Very lovely tributes can be found posted by Ryan, Atari, Brad, Dan, Richard, Rey, and Hypoxic. As I said, it just goes to show you that EVERYONE makes an impact on this world in small ways, and those small ways can blossom into something beautiful. I would just like to send everyone that knew Marc a very warm and heartfelt hug. You were the lucky ones.

On the opposite side of things, my own personal life seems to be a bit...well odd. There is a lot of drama around the coffee shop that I didn't know about. Three breakups within the course of the weekend it seems and it may have to do with one person. Now THAT is kinda scary if you ask me.

Aside from that, my friend Adam is now travelling South to school. I wound up last night driving to see him one last time (and what the hell was I thinking about going out at 11pm on a work night when I get up at 5ish in the morning?). They were bowling, and I got to meet....the girlfriend. Now, I knew that he was straight, but there is still some odd delusional aspect to me that just hoped (if ever so slightly) because...well...reasons I guess I'd have to explain later. Just I didn't know that he thought of me as a friend as well. See, we knew each other pretty much in passing during the mornings at the coffee shop. Still, it's kinda amazing what sort of friendships you can build up that way. I'll miss seeing him in the morning though I can tell ya. And the girlfriend? Damn it...she's pretty, and very intelligent (as a matter of fact he and his friends were discussing political things that just boggled my little actor's brain!). Still, I do always like to think of my friends being happy so how can I be upset too much...other than he's straight hehe.

I've started reading some new blogs, well new for me and I have to point you out to one really hip lady named Merle. She's a crack up. While I haven't yet emailed her, or really gotten to know her at all...just go check out her site and you tell me that you're not going to go back and see what she writes next!

I'm still pondering Marc's last post and especially his food for thought 1-10 (you can find that at the bottom of his post and I encourage everyone to read them). I mean, how often have I told my friends lately that I love them? And how can you ever truly know the impact you are going to make on someone's life? Well...Marc, since I know you must be "up there", you've made me start looking at a brighter side of life over the last couple of days. I just hope that my "impact" can be as empowering to someone else.

Now go out there and hug your friends damn it! Go out and paint a picture. Go out and stand in a park and sing like Julie Andrews in Sound Of Music for cryin out loud!! Babies...while the ride can be slightly down sometimes, don't forget that everyday you're here...you've made someone else happy. And that, my friends, is enough to keep me going for a long long time.

Be safe. Be well. Be PROUD! Be Loved!