Sometimes I think "well?", and sometimes I just don't know

Ah me...at least it's relatively early tonight. Got dinner socked away and waiting. Got a copy of DOOM (yeah ok don't ask because it's probably horrible but I had to know) and Good Night And Good Luck. And here we are. :)

So my friend Jim said something to me in his comment that made me realize how badly I talk about myself sometimes. Well, like I said once before, I beat the living snot out of me and honestly I think it's because I would resent anyone else that was this hard on me. Truthfully, I didn't have a better phrase to use last night. I just felt kinda bad in retrospect to the situation, but I wasn't putting a "tear in my beer" over it. Just realized I thought I was acting poorly.

So, it's Tuesday and one day closer to being paid and still closer yet to St. Patrick's Day (no I will not be out at the bars drinking that night thank you very much). I do love me some holidays. I used to love Easter because me and my pop would go up to the Castro in Sf and there would be all these guys with friggin Easter Bonnets! Oh my god but it was the gayest, greatest thing sometimes. We even saw a drag queen one year with a hat so big that she had to tilt and turn her head to make it through doorways. Wish I had a picture of her because believe me....fierceness was happening. So, for St. Pats I get to pull out my Irish music, cook up the American tradition of Corned Beef (for the lunch special that day) and hopefully pinch all the hot and cute guys that aren't wearing green! (three guesses where I'll be pinching heh)

Been thinking about my blood family lately. Probably because I was watching Six Feet Under (great series!). I guess I should make some sort of attempt to patch things up with all of them. I know I haven't talked with my mom in probably 7 months or something like that. I don't want them to think I don't care...but I just don't really relate to them and their dynamics ya know? I've always envied folks that get a long well with their parents. I mean, my mom did give birth to me and all so I should be a little bit better as her son, but sometimes I just feel like they have their lives and I have mine (or one that i'm trying to build on still). Course there's all that water flowing like a flash flood under the bridges. Maybe I'll surprise her with a call this weekend, but I'm honestly not looking forward to the guilt trip I'm sure she'll lay on me.

So anyone answer me this one? Why do I look forward to the weekend when i don't really do anything exciting with them? Maybe it's just that I don't have to work (which is alwas nice), and I get to sleep in. Don't know really. I always get it in my head that I'll do something really fun and exciting, or go somewhere for the day, or do a project here at home...and I usually slouch off and before I know it, the weekend is gone. But hell, tomorrow is Wenesday which is half-way point (and hump day..now where's the humpable one?) so...Woo Hoo! :)

Think I'm gonna go and eat whilest watching a little of what could be a bloody awful movie.