Oh Janis

Photo by Kelly Stern
Well crap. Now I'm the one that's got dem ol' Kosmic Blues again mamma. Maybe it's just being tired. Maybe it's a wierd situation with the fam that I can't explain to myself. Maybe I just need to get the hell out of my studio more and do things. Who knows, who cares, why bother :)

Guess it isn't really all that bad but I have to tell you work is just a great big bitch this week. Waking up so late on Monday didn't help, and now it's almost Friday and I'm off to see Superman tomorrow night with D & H and then there's a baby shower this weekend as well. Yes, yes, I know...babyshow and men don't mix but hey, I was invited and I said I'd make an appearance for a little while. Just seems that this week is so frightfully dull. (did I mention I become very British at times?) But, there is also the prospect of spending some quality time with my beloved PS2. But even that sounds rather boring to some degree.

I can't believe it's almost July and I haven't figured out what's going to happen on the 4th. I suppose I should call my mum, but I don't want to. Everytime I call I get the guilt trip action times 20. She's good at it and will probably say something akin to "Well when you don't hear from someone like I haven't heard from you" and I'll wind up feeling like shit and then realize after the call why I don't call her. Am I the only one that doesn't get along with his own blood relations? Shit. How did I go from 4th of July to whiny? Good lord I think I need to eat the Quizno's I just picked up.

I did, however, see that a second of my gladioli is going to bloom soon. It's going to be purple which is one of my fav colors. Yeah, me and Miss Shug Avery hehe. It's the little things though. Wandering in after work and realizing that there could be a major splay of color waiting for me. Ya just gotta love flowers to some degree. These were the first ones to come into bloom for me.



And I don't think I have posted a more dull, dry, and boring post in a while. Maybe this weekend I'll get around to writing up my exploits during the Pride weekend and post parts of them. I have a feeling it's going to have to be a multi-post because there's a lot in my head which equates to a lot of writing.

So, I think I may change things up a bit here. Little different color scheme. Try and get my blogroll under control and to my likings. Hell, I may even put up a new picture of moi. One never knows, do one?

Twenty-three days and counting. And i hope that this one is better than I expect it to be.

Be safe. Be happy. Be PROUD. Be Loved!

Le sigh....yup...it's normal life again

Photo by Kelly Stern

Well babies...here we are again. I think I'm going to save talking much about the past weekend until I get it all written down. There was a lot of fun had by me though and it was my very first Pride parade so ... pretty dern excitin.

So it's really back to the daily grind lately for me. Fearing what my phone bill may look like, trying to remind myself that I have a babyshower this weekend to go to, and suddenly realizing that it's almost July! Now I have a love/hate relationship with July because yeah...I'm a Cancer/Leo cusp and if you know astrology you know what month I was born in. Course, there is also the 4th coming up on Tuesday. Then me buddy's birthday a couple of days before mine...and blah blah blah.

Last night was rather...well it was a big phone night apparently. Talke with my buddy JS out here, then talked to Rey, then my friend S called and the next thing I knew it was 9:30 and I'm thinking to myself, "Wasn't I going to just watch a movie and have a quiet night?". Then it hit me that I needed to eat. So, yup...sandwich at 9:30 and probably asleep by 10:30. Maybe I'm getting old. Yeah, right. I don't think so.

I've noticed I really need to do something about my blogroll because I've added a lot of folks that I read now and I feel bad I don't have them on there. Unfortunately for me, it takes a while since I'm a simpleton when it comes to some of these things. I swear I'm going to learn some HTML one of these days...but not before I learn more about spiders. I have a pleathora of them out in the garden these days. Fine by me, they eat the bugs. Problem is that on the odd occaission they decide to come in and visit me. Now, I have told them time and again that they can do what ever they want OUTSIDE. I generally chase them around in here and trap them and then release them outside again where they freak and run away. So I started thinking it would be interesting to just get to know spiders a bit better....not up close mind ya but via books and the net.

Course, now that I'm getting more into anime I'm thinking that it might be a pretty good idea to learn some Japanese. I think it would be a hoot to read the manga in the original language. Course it would help to be able to watch anime in the original language as well. Swear I would be a linguist if I could stand to study more. It's actually really hard to sit down and just learn a language by yourself ya know? Hell, I have my book and cds on learning Irish Gaelic and have I started workin it? Nope.

Ah me. Well everyone is posting thier pictures from Pride and I'm lovin it. I'm still thinking about just linking to my Flicker account. Don't know yet. That's what the weekend is for ya know? And for me to quit babbling. And to say that I send ya all big ol' hugs..... and Elvira (I love you Cassandra Peterson!!)

Be safe. Be happy. Be PROUD. Be Loved!


p.s. Ya ever notice how your blog is always a work in progress? Le sigh

Back to normal...whatever that is

Photo by Kelly Stern

I'm tired and my feet hurt and ya know what? I hate my life. Not in the sense of everything is wrong and life is shit but in the sense that I'm missing the guys I met this weekend.

I've lived in California now for around 20 years and never once had I been in a gay bar, partied on the Castro, or been to a Pride parade. The weekend was a blur of activity for me and for a person that sits at home a lot...it was magic. I had a really hard time leaving Rey and Darryl last night after watching the end of a lesbian hip-hop group at the after parade street fair. I couldn't believe that I wasn't going to have them call me up and ask where I was. I couldn't believe that these two amazing guys weren't going to be in California.

I walked to my car and started to pull out on the highway when it all hit me really hard. I for once started to cry. All the warmth that I had felt from everyone seemed to be gone all of the sudden and I found myself alone listening to Nick Kershaw singing "Wouldn't it be good to be in your shoes, even if it was for just one day?". Then it really hit home. For three days I wasn't alone. I wasn't a freak. It was alright to be myself and be gay. I knew that I honestly was not alone in the world. How do you step back into your old life when that has happened to you? I cried as I drove and thought of the PFLAG group and what it actually meant. Love. I cried as I thought about how people cheered joyously for the drag queens and what that meant. Love. And I cried because it all seemed that I had to go back and be what other people expect me to be, and know that I was the "token" gay guy in a sense at work this morning. I can't begin to tell you how much just this little time had meant to me.

I'm a very quiet person I've come to realize. I don't do well in social settings where I don't know people well. I don't drink, or rather, rarely and if I have to drive I pretty much just don't. Tends to make me feel a bit boring to some degree, but given the chance, I would throw myself into the frey (which makes my blog seem much more appropriate to me now) and just say "fuck it". Unfortunately, I've become the kind of person that seems to think in terms of "be safe, be careful, don't do this, don't do that". And I suppose knowing my own body and how it reacts to things...well, I just know my own limitations. Still, I honestly wish that I could have opened up a bit more and had been able to push that comfort zone to the limits. Guess that's what come of living alone for 3 years eh? hehe.

So, today I read the blog updates, realized that I honestly loved these guys I had met this weekend, and hoped beyond hope that maybe I can push out of my shell. I miss the Darrens. Two sweet guys and I should have gone off with Darren #2 when he asked me to wander with him yesterday. (not like that damnit..sheesh...dirty minded gits) And I would have liked to have had a chance to really talk to Atari for a while. Jeff, and Doug, and Kelly from Canada were amzing guys that kept me smiling and just had this great energy the couple of times I saw them. And finding myself suddenly talking to Dan and Adam from Texas? Felt like a little piece of home actually. All these amazing guys that came out here for Pride.

It feels like something has ended, but, I know that it's actually just begun in a wierd way. The guys that live here, up in the city (SF) were just as amazing and warm as I had heard. And maybe it's spurring me on now that I have driven up there 4 times in the past 3 days to just get the hell out of this little boring place I live and actually start living. Seems that I forget to do that and just work and go home and then work and on the weekend maybe go see a movie. I know that I'd like nothing better than just to sit around and jaw it a while with Jr and Kalvin, give Kelly another giant hug because he really is quite huggable, talk to Chad about his ghost, and get to know Dan when I'm not zoned out completely. Hopefully this is going to happen. Whether or not you guys read my post, I just want to say thank you.

So pride? Ya, there's going to be another long post about it. It has an entirely new meaning to me actually. And for once, I do feel a sense of pride and a sense of community. So if there is anyone out there that thinks they are all alone in being gay. Anyone that feels like they are the only one and that they don't fit because of whatever reason...you're wrong. And any time you're feeling lost and alone because of it, you just come over here to my place and I'll make sure that while we sit around having a cupper together, you leave with a great big hug.

Peace

Pride weekend is over?

Y'all, I don't think I have ever been more tired in my life hehe. But it was and is the best kind of tired. I have spent the last couple of days with some of the most amazing guys having way too much fun. Now, they may not have known I was having all that fun but I was, and I plan on telling all! (weellll...maybe not all but I definately will dish it out in a later entry) Just enough to say that Pride really rocked for me.

Now the picture at the top is from Kelly Stern and y'all go over there and show that man some love because this picture has graced my site for almost a month now. Kelly, if you're reading this, I really thank you and appreciate your challenge. Major kudos to you!

I have a lot of pictures from this weekend and mostly from today's SF Pride and I promise I'll put them all out for folks to see but these are the ones that really grab me hard. See if you can dig these from our Pride Parade up here in SF, and then I'm going to bed cause I got to get this sorry little white ass up tomorrow for work.



I just really liked this float. Gospelly folk on there and I dig the messag eh? Even if I ain't a Christian...ya gotta love it!



That, and the PFLAG group really got me. I felt that lump in the throat working up ya know? All I can say is, amen to the sentiment.

Be safe. Be happy. Be PROUD! Be Loved!

Happy Pride everyone.

It's Pride weekend babies!

It's Pride weekend up here for me babies so I may not be talking much until after Sunday. I do want to wish everyone a great big HAPPY GAY PRIDE DAY! I'm off to try and have fun and stay out of serious trouble hehe.

Much love to you all and I'll be snappin pictures left and right I'm sure so yes, there will be those to come. (eye candy and what not heh)

Thanks to Kelly Stern for the image that has graced my site for the past month. I personally find it rather inspirational to tell the truth. So thank you again Kelly soo much!

Be safe. Be happy. Be PROUD! Be loved!!

What?...oh whatever

Photo by Kelly Stern

And it just keeps getting surreal. I mean really y'all...my life is getting too damn wierd at times. There's drama at work, and I'm afraid that I'm slowly turning into a real bitch there. Yeah, yours truly has a slow and long fuse but it's getting used up little by little. Course, what do you want from someone that would probably be described as a workaholic?

Hadn't intended to write about this but I gotta get something off my chest here. See, at work, I do a lot of the orders (most of them), and go out to buy things for the shop, and help customers, and try and listen to the staff when they need something. Then I get to go home right? Well sort of. I hate, absolutely HATE, leaving orders or lists for shopping for the following day. So, I go back in the evenings and work up my lists, get the shopping lists ready, the orders ready and lately a lot of time on the weekend I just go down there and hang out. People think I'm seriously nuts but I say, if it saves me time the next day when a vendor calls...it's worth it. But, I'm there too much. I can't seem to be away from work and not worry about the place. I'm scared that if I go away for more than two days it's going to fall apart, or orders won't get done (or done properly) and little things will fall through the cracks that I am supposed to be in charge of. What's worse is I don't even know if that's the way it's supposed to be. And things do fall through the cracks because I'm getting really tired of it all....but it pays for me to be in a place to live, to eat, to occaissionally do something exciting, etc. And I still want more...well more money, paid vacations, sick time...but it's a friggin coffee shop and I guess I shouldn't complain because over all I have it pretty damn good.

K left today. His time in my city is done. He was only working contract and tonight instead of seeing him off like I thought I would, I wound up hanging out with my friends at their house. I know that things wouldn't have ever worked between us, but I did like the guy and I hope that he'll at least call from time to time. It was a fun rollercoaster ride while it lasted I suppose. Maybe the next time it will be an honest to god relationship thing instead of a one sided affair on my part.

And, I'm woundering and pondering and thinking about moving. It's not that I hate where I live, but my neighbor really freaked me out today. Freaked me out enough to make me consider moving (and how the hell am I going to find a place for all my plants if I do?!). I don't really know what his problem is anymore, but he's starting to scare me a little. I don't know if he was drunk or what, but I woke up to hearing someone in my patio (and these are small places) trying to get in my studio. I mean the guy kept putting the key in the door and trying it. Now maybe he was so gone that he thought he was in his place, but my patio looks nothing like his so it's kinda hard to make that mistake. I didn't say a word and pretended I was still napping but damn y'all...that really freaked my shit out! I'm considering asking my landlord if I can change the locks on my door at this point but all this may just be me being paranoid and a bit tired and needing more food and sleep lately. I don't know.

And I know I may be hit by someone for saying this but I'm scared slightly that I'm losing the fam out here. I know that everyone has scheduals that conflict. I know I'm a pain in the ass to get out of my studio. I also know that I haven't heard from any of them lately and..well...maybe it's all just bad communication lately. I don't know but there is a gut instinct that says something is way up and I'm not privy to it. The worst of it is that I was really looking forward to going to Disneyland with my brother and sis in October. Can't imagine anything worse than doing Disneyland all alone so...I don't know.

God I'm a whiny whiny fag tonight. It's Pride weekend and Rey is going to be in town, along with a lot of other bloggers that I will probably meet this weekend. I'm hoping that I'll be able to escape all the wierdness that seems to be around me lately and just have some fun. Lord knows, right now I feel like I could use it. That, or a sweet guy to fall in love with me, or just a guy that wanted to cuddle. :) Hopeless I tell ya...I'm a hopeless romantic still.

Be safe. Be happy. Be PROUD. Be Loved!

Oh he's babbling again....

Picture by Kelly Stern

Now y'all know me (and no I'm not down with the OPP thank you very much), and I don't post a lot of pictures here but I'm thinking that maybe I should set up a different blog for Pride this year. That's right, I'm a camera hound at times. It's not just the pretty eye candy boys, but it's the Drag Queens as well. I secretly think that just about everyone (and this includes my mom for cryin out loud) loves a good Drag Queen...or a bad one....or one that is tacky. And yet, sometimes I think that the gay community doesn't really accept them completely.

Are Drag Queens a stereotype? Well maybe. But honestly, you have to love them for that fearlessness to go out there and just do it. I wish I had more of that in me. Course at 6'4" I'm gonna be a really frightening woman I would think. Can you imagine me in friggin heels for god's sake? I'd feel like I was walking on stilts above the crowds! But enough of that....I plan on taking a lot of pictures of the Drag Queens :)

Me diet has been rough on me lately. I did break down and have...*gasp* pasta! (and potatos and toast damnit) But I have no more time to "slim down" so what folks see pride weekend is what they get and I'm still planning on working on the bod before going to Yaoi-con.

This post seems really dull and boring to me, but ya know, that seems to be the way my life runs lately. I'm really hoping that this weekend reinvigorates me a bit. I'm usually to be found on the weekend here at home either playing games, or dorking around on the computer. Why? I have no clue other than I really like experiencing things with other people. Like going to a museum where you run up to your friend and say "Oh my god you have to see this!" Or being able to talk about a play after the show over coffee. Mmmm...companionship. Something I sometimes feel sorely lacking in because my friends all seem to have conflicting schedules and I'm bastard that won't leave my studio during the week usually.

Summer is here though and I have had an off to go and see Opera and go to Big Sur and just wander through the trees. I'm seriously thinking that both are a good idea. I've never seen live Opera before and it's The Marriage of Figaro in SF put on by their opera company. And Big Sur? Well, I plan to go out there with some watercolors (which I have to admit I don't know if I'll use too well) and paint a bit when I find inspiration. Plus, I'd be going on these outting with friends so what could be better?

Ok, y'all...time for this camper to eat, play one race in Midnight Club and get some shut eye if'n he can. Ya know...sometimes I really hate my internal clock but...meh.

Be safe. Be happy. Be PROUD. Be Loved!

Oish....rambly bambly

Photo by Kelly Stern

Now, we all know what time it is right? It's Pride month and I've had a lot of oddly mixed feelings about it lately. For one, my local PBS channels don't seem to be running that much "gay programming" this year like they had in recent years. Sort of disappointing because there are few places (not having cable) for me to see documentaries, or what have you, on gay and lesbian folk. I resort to watching the movies I have on hand, and the ones I get from Netflix and GreenCine but it's just not the same ya know? Then, there's the whole issue of I feel like I should be doing more like going to the San Jose Pride (which I slept though) and trying to be supportive. Well, I will be making it up to SF next weekend and meeting up with some fellow bloggers (Hey there Rey *grin*).

So why talk about Pride again? Well it was something that Alden over at Secret Simon was talking about and it just struck a cord. He said, "Be careful not to drown in the celebration lest it lose it's meaning. It does happen." and I tend to agree with him. We get all wrapped up in the partying sometimes and forget what I feel Pride is suppose to be about. I know I've said it before but to me it's a time when all those lovely gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, etc folk get together and say "Hey! Look, there's more folk just like me and we're ok." Now that instills me with a sense of pride. Parades? Sure I love it and I will probably be taking my camera and snapping pictures of the gorgeous guys, and ladies, and drag queens et als....but just to be in that vibe of "we're all one". Man, talk about a sense of ??? not power but just, well I don't know what. (and for those of you that haven't read Alden's site, please go over there because he's a very lovely guy in all senses)

So nothing else is really new here. Work and work. I went up to SF tonight with some friends to hit two places I wanted to go. Did it work out? No. We wound up at Virgin Megastore (well ok...I like browsing music and vids), but then when we walked over to Lush it was closed (which I suspected it would be). Then we tried to make it over to the Castro to a shop I wanted to browse in....closed. So, the trip for me was actually a complete bust. I didn't get what I intended to get up there so I'm going to probably drive my sorry butt up there tomorrow. Why go all the way to SF to buy soap? Believe me, if you have ever used Lush products...you'd understand ;)

I realize lately I haven't been myself really. I'm not sure what the damage has been but I just haven't felt like my old self. I haven't even felt like a new self. Just been feeling a bit like a mindless Zombie wandering through life. I found myself bitching a lot more with coworkers and that's not right. It makes me feel like I'm two faced when I talk about fellow coworkers that are annoying me, but can't seem to say it to them because I don't want to either; A)hurt their feelings, or B)put up with the drama. But, seeing as I feel like I don't talk much to anyone, I guess I needed to blow the steam off. Still I plan to try and work on myself again and find some kind of happy medium so I don't get like that again.

And I feel like I haven't been a good friend in some ways either. I haven't been commenting for the most part on peoples sites that I read every day. I haven't emailed responces. I just sort of sucked down into myself and work. So...who cares eh? Well I do. I honestly love folks a lot in the fact that they play an important part in my life. Just seems that in not talking, I'm not being a very good friend. So here's a list of shout out that are sent with a LOT of love and hugs to :

My little brother Ryan
and Michael who's a majorly swell guy
Kalvin who maybe I'll be meeting this weekend at SF Pride
and Rey who I'll definately be seeing
Alden although I don't really know ya
Brad who keeps my Southern heart buring bright
Steve who I should be commenting more on his blog
Brad who has them sexy feet and is a partial inspiration for my weightloss
Spencer cause he's just too damn cool (and he better know it)
M'lady because she is an amazing woman who I love reading
Ari who bring a sense of gentility to my life
and to Jim who's not back to blogging yet..but I do adore ya.

I feel like I am forgetting folks, and if I didn't mention your name I'm sorry but just know that everyone that stops by here...well I appreciate it. I wish that these were actually little homes because I'd have all y'all sitting out on the porch, a pitcher of Iced Tea and probably some kinda homemade cookies wating. Just sos we could sit a spell and jaw it up and have some laughs. And ain't that what life really is about? People. People and the friendships we form. So, I'll be waiting with the Tea (or coffee heh)...y'all come by whenever you want.

Be safe. Be happy. Be PROUD. Be loved!

What time is it?...oh my god

from Kelly Stern

What the hell am I doing up so late? I don't know. I'm having trouble sleeping lately. It may be the eating later than I should but hey...that's life I suppose. I'm getting used (in a sick way) to around 5 hours of sleep during the week. Sad huh?

So, not much is really happening here. I keep seeing K but I get the feeling that something inside me has changed. Sure he's cute and all, but there just something there that wasn't before and it's not that I'm not interested...cept he has a wife of course and all that rot. Just, something odd. Probably all for the best though in the long run.

So....it appears I have hit the year milestone. I forgot that it was coming up for me here and let me tell ya, I never thought I would actually still be writing here a year later. All that drama that went before? Well I'm sure it will crop up again this year in different forms but hey, that's life ya? So one year of meeting amazing folks, making new friends because I decided to announce to the world I was here. Was it worth it? Ah hells yeah!

I'll try and up date things a little better but the weekend is coming and that's the time I usually do fu...er...nothing much :D

Thanks to you all for continuing to come back here, for the comments, for the friendships, and for the love. We'll just have to wait and see what this new year is gonna bring me eh? (odd to say halfway through an actual year but I never said that I wasn't a bit off heh)

Be safe. Be happy. Be PROUD. Be loved!

Oh....OH my

Photo by Kelly Stern

Sorry it's been a while. Lately I've been trying to just chill and relax a bit (well on the weekend) and I didn't make it to San Jose's Gay Pride but....two weeks and I'll be up in SF for their Pride march. We'll see how this goes because for one thing, I'm not really big into crowds, and for a second thing...well I don't really drink much so there's that odd aspect to the whole thing.

So I have to give some credit here to V.J. over at Orange Maze. He posted this and asked everyone to take the 5 minutes to watch this clip. Believe me, I think it's worth it. Kinda boiled my blood, but it also was nice to hear a reporter pull out all her stops when interviewing someone like this. (and hopefully this embedding will work)



So there ya have it....homophobes that believe that God hates just about everyone because they don't sin but we all do. Enough to make you laugh if it didn't make you want to cry as well.

I promise to update a little more tonight, but for now, it's after work and yesterday was crazed and I just want to lay down and watch a movie. On the upside of things, I may have broken my South Beach diet on Saturday, but the effects of what I have been doing lately are actually showing! Yea me! That belly is going down slightly and so now it's up to doing crunches and getting rid of them handles!

Be safe. Be happy. Be PROUD. Be Loved!

Well I knew it had to be something

Well, it appears I'm going to be resetting all my passwords. Fun eh? I was wondering why things were acting a bit odd on the puter here and doing a Spyware search I encounted something called WinWhatWhereKeylogger. So, great, now I have to think up new passwords, reset everywhere because it's a logger of keystrokes and try and remember what I gave myself now as passwords. I mean really...WTF?

This of course makes a bit more sense to me of why I got an odd mail on Myspace today from someone I don't even know who said I was harrassing him. Makes me wonder what the hell else this program is going to find and just how I happened to get this annoying little doodad.

Life here? Boring, and at the same time, dull. I'm going out tomorrow night with my sis and brother to see La Cage Aux Folles. Should be pretty groovin because I love the show and I need something to make me feel better about myself. Guess I'm back to thinking too much again but hey, that's life eh?

This weekend is Pride in San Jose and I'm not sure if I want to do the parade but I'll probably make it down to the festivities afterwards. I'm not exceptionally good with crowds but the one time I managed to make it down to where they hold the afterwards stuff....it was pretty mellow. Does give me pause considering the SF Pride parade. I don't think I can/could deal with the party that is going to be happening on Castro that night/weekend. It's not that I'm claustrophobic, but I think I'm a little agorophobic. Crowds that make you feel like a sardine trying to be pushed into the tin after it's already full definately freak me out a bit.

I'm not sure if I broke the diet tonight. I tried my best to eat South Beachly, but I scooped up some rice with the beans by accident, and I think I ate a crouton by mistake :) Yeah I know....ain't the end of the world but damnit, I want to lose weight and get healthy (and maybe one day find someone that I could call a boyfriend).

I'm starting also to wonder where my life is heading exactly. Wondering what would happen if I just decided to move to another state. Would the world really change that much? After I got web access, I don't know. Just would be a different place and different people is all. That in and of itself is a wierd thought. Granted I don't have the cash to think about moving out of state, but I'm feeling a bit of wanderlust creep up on me. It's been almost 2 years since I had a vacation which was 4 days in Disneyland last time. Think I'm due for one but I don't want to spend tons o' cash ya know? Ah the perils of being me.

One of these days, I'm going to find the right place at the right time and finally figure out who and what the hell I really am. Maybe I'll just turn into a superhero.

For those that don't know, that picture is by Kelly Stern. Thanks again Kelly and happy Pride month since I haven't said it yet!.

Be safe. Be happy. Be loved!

Day 3?

Well, I have tried to stick to the South Beach diet as much as possible, and let me tell you, that almond scone today looked SOOOOO good, but I didn't. Day 3 and I'm feeling pretty dern good about meself.

Now, I'm not sure if it was on the diet (well ok I cheated) last night to have popcorn at the movies but I never have butter on it. Yeah, "butter"...riiiight. It's some wierd oil that they tend to squirt out of a machine and it usually tastes more like oil to me than butter. But hey, a medium popcorn and then dinner of meatball soup (yeah I know it sounds wierd but it was at a noodle house and I can't have pasta sooo). Not so bad I think. Plus I've actually been eating breakfast kinda. Well, breakfast for me. So what did I see last night? The Omen. I'm afraid my opinion of it isn't the best so I'm gonna skip that.


What wonderous thing has happened over the last couple of weeks is that my rose bush has finally bloomed! I have my first blossom and being the proud poppa I took several pictures. Only a couple turned out really well. Depending on how the sun was hitting it, it tended to look slightly different to me so. Here she is....my first beauty of the season with hopefully many more to come. Ain't she gorgeous? And there's another bud waiting to open any day now. Granted, these were a variety called "Black Roses" which are supposed to be super dark and look almost black until they open but hey....she's my baby anyways.

Just as a side note, so I give credit where it's due, the picture at the top was from Kelly Stern and will be kept somewhere on my blog until the end of the month for Gay Pride month. Thanks again Kelly!

Be safe. Be happy. Be loved!

Day One....and I'm feeling ok

Since I don't ever post pictures for HTN, and I rarely let ya see me full body in a picture...I started my diet today. Doing that South Beach thing. Why? Am I fat you may ask. Well I am to me, or rather I need to lose a good 10 pounds in my book. So....day one and I've stuck to it other than not having lunch today which I never have in the first place. BUT, I also didn't come home and eat Pringles (*sniffle* oh my lovely crispy bits of potato....how I will miss you).

And today is me buddy Rey's birthday! WOO HOO! So a majorly Happy Happy Birthday to ya buddy! And y'all that don't read his site, go over and just say Happy Birthday anyways cause he's a pretty swell guy ;)

So other than starting this damn diet (but I have to say I've been eating pretty well for a diet today), not much really going on other than I wanted again to point out the picture that is going to be hanging around my site all month. This was from Kelly (and I'm a bad man because I haven't had a chance to explore his blog much) who had a challenge. Well me, I fell in love with the picture when I first saw it on Brad's site...and now apparently it's making the rounds and I for one am exceptionally pleased by that. I also want to say thank you to Kelly for this quote from him,

Pride is not all about nekkid men and getting crazy,
but what has happened in our history...lets not forget... - Kelly Stern.

Well amen to that Kelly! Course, I will finally be attending (dear god I hope I make it this year) my first gay pride parade up in SF. I say should because I am still committed to one scene for the video I was doing with my friend's band. One last scene for me and I think one last for the band and the shooting part is over! Course, there's the voice over work but hey...big deal. It'll be in the can so to speak. Yeah, this month is a little crazy for me, but in a good way. Got an offer to go see an opera (but had to turn it down), I think this weekend is Pride in San Jose (which I may try to go to), and in two weeks I should be actually meeting some fellow bloggers in SF for their Pride. Oish, I'm tired just thinking about it heheh.

So, hey, steal that picture and post it EVERYWHERE! And when ya do, thank Kelly Stern for it ok? And...well, we'll see what happens next in my crazed life of boredom :)

Be safe. Be happy. Be LOVED!

Allo Allo

Le Pride.....Da Pride month, Da Paraides, Da Groovy! (ok, so I've been listening to Dee Light lately...but hey, groove IS in the heart now isn't it?)

I was soooo supposed to get up earlier today and get some stuff done, but before I knew it last night (and several cups of coffee at the shop didn't help), it was 4am. I mean, WTF? I'm never up that late anymore. Oh, sure when I was going to Raves I'd be getting in at that hour....but now? I'm usually in bed no later than 11pm. Well, kinda have to and if I can get off me bum, I'll probably be wanting to because I'm lookin to start exorcising and I'm sure that will help tiring me out a bit.

I saw this picture originally on Brad's site. What a great image! The photo is by Kelly Stern, and thanks for the image Kelly! And there is just something about it. Does me little gothy black heart good and it actually does make me feel oddly proud. Plus, it's a gorgeous picture in general. I say, copy this sucker and spread it around :)

The only down part of this weekend is worrying about me buddy Persian Guy. Why? Well for one, he's taken down his blog site. For those that hadn't read his site before, he's an amazing guy. Good friend too. Just hoping that everything is ok. Just kinda saddening that he took the site down. I know that a lot of folks love him and his site. Hopefully he'll put it back up sometime. (and hey...I hope you got my email buddy)

So, do to the fact that it's around 5 million degrees right now in my studio (no a/c and I even have the window and door open but it's not helping), I think I'm going to trundle down and see about getting myself one of these Game Shark thingies. Supposed to be able to break in cheat codes (not that I actually use them much) for the PS2....hm or maybe not after reading the reviews of this thing on Amazon. Sigh Guess I'm stuck to trying to actually beat the game like you're supposed to? But hey, that's why you buy them in the first place right?

Alright, I'm off to find someplace slightly cooler than it is here. Hope that everyone's weekend went off magnificantly. And is anyone but me excited by the prospect of this Tuesday? I'm ordering my tickies probably tomorrow!

Be safe. Be happy. Be loved!