So here I sit, listening to one of my favourite songs from Rent (Without You) and feeling like I should go to bed soon. Sort of sucks because it's not even 9pm my time and I guess I still have a little getting better to do. I do feel about 85% better today. I wasn't as bitchy and actually managed to laugh a fair amount with my coworkers today. Believe me, this is a massive and major improvement from the last two days when I was absolutely no fun to be around.
I honestly feel I don't say this enough to those you folks, but you are positively the greatest. I draw so much encouragement from all of you my friends. You definately make the hard times easier to get through and for that I am eternally greatful. I know that my Goddess Selene gives me people for specific reasons and, while I don't always understand what they are, I'm rarely unhappy about it. Well there were a couple of guys I could have done without but I'm sure that they were put in my life to teach me something and believe me, I did I learn those lessons! (on the side note, the other Goddess I tend to talk to is Hectate and she sometimes doles out rather harsh lessons about truth and wisdom)
I've been thinking a lot again lately. Mostly about my life and why things happen, and where am I really going. Sometimes it seems like it's a gigantic play and I'm fulfilling a part in this show but I don't know what the ending will be. Sort of like watching a serial drama if you will. Things sometimes don't work out the way I want them to, but hey..that's life I suppose. Mainly what's been on my mind is my friend Jason and how we're rapidly drifting apart. He owes me a large chunk of change and I don't really know what to do about that either. Problem is, if I push the issue too much, I'm going to piss him off and he may not pay it back. If I don't push, he seems to forget, or that's my take on it. He's just not really the same guy that I used to know anymore. I can only equate that to his "boyfriend".
Ya know it seems to me that after a while, you start taking on the character traits of your other. You start doing things you normally wouldn't possibly. I watched my buddy Dan do this. He actually got the good deal out of this situation and I am so friggin proud of him and it only makes me love him more. Jason on the other hand..I just don't know. It's not like he's suddenly become a junky or anything, just he doesn't seem to be the person I once admired as a friend.
That being said, I really want the money back and guess what...you got it, there is nothing in writing to do with this loan I gave him. Guess I'm going to have to bite the bullet and call him again. Sadly it's getting to the point where I just don't want to deal with him because he just doesn't seem to care that he owes me this money. "Neither a borrower nor a lender be;For loan oft loses both itself and friend," - Hamlet Act I, Scene iii Well that's making more and more sense to me now. I've already pretty much written my brother off because he apparently doesn't see the need to pay me back what he owes me. (and yes he now has a kid but hey...he still owes me) Maybe this is one of those bad situations where I have a majorly hard lesson to learn about who I do and don't loan money to eh?
Wish there was a mysterious stranger to write about. I have met two seemingly great guys...who are both straight hehe. At least now it just makes me laugh about it. It used to really bother me, but what can ya do eh? At least they're nice guys (and easy on the eyes which always helps to some degree). So ... there's that I suppose. Looking forward to going to see my next couple of shows from Best of Broadway. An all male production of Swan Lake, and a new show with Martin Short called Fame Becomes Me. And, my darlin sister Didi is having her birthday in a couple of days actually. So...birthday party with the family which is always a kicker.
Now, I'm going to woof down a burger, and probably collapse in a bloated heap on my futon and try and watch on more episode of either LOST, or Six Feet Under which I will probably fall asleep watching.
Everyone out there, stay well, stay healthy, stay happy, and stay loved.
3 comments:
You read happy even though it is rotten that all these people owe you money.
It may be a silly suggestion but what about writing them a letter/email? Just to say you were happy to loan them the money at the time, and that is what is was a loan not a gift and now, you yourself have a need for this money and could they please repay it. If they are not able to do so immediately could they please give you some idea of when they will be able to.
The subject of money and indebtedness is often embarrasing for most people and they feel put on the spot if you mention it in conversation. Something in writing gives them a bit of space and time to think and respond - hopefully positively!
Fingers crossed for you x
Michael, ever since I first read your blog back last year you constantly reference these guys who owe you money. Maybe it's time to stop loaning it out? You aren't a rich guy, and well why should you have to stress out because you helped them out and now they are being asses about payback.
Sorry to get into your business, but I hate to see you go through this when all you did was try and help.
*BIG HUG*
:)
aww bro sometimes friends just suck!
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