Oo ack

So here I am sitting around thinking to myself, "where did the weekend go?" Another one lost to the realms of unkown. I swear I look forward to them and then I do little if nothing with them. Wierd huh? I could have used it to clean up here, or drive over to the ocean, or just ride my bike around but no...it just seemed to vanish.

I just got finished downloading some more Cat Stevens because I foolishly started watching Harold and Maude last night/this morning in hopes of drifting off but I got sucked into the movie. Every now and then I forget what a great singer/songwriter Cast Stevens is. Like I said, it's a lot to do with lyrics for me. Check out the lyrics to Don't Be Shy. It's the song that opens Harold and Maude. hell the whole soundtrack is brilliant. And there's something in his voice as well. It sounds desparate sometimes, longing, and then you hit something like If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out and this wierd sense of peace just washes over you. I miss me some Cat Stevens.

I am so not looking forward to the work week. I know that no one really does but, the moment it's here and I can't do anything about it, I know I'll be fine again. Then again, if I took a week off I doubt I would use it productively. Guess I'm just stuck in a rut again. Probably something to do with one co-worker going to Italy and one getting ready for her wedding. Yup....some folks at the cafe get to get away from there. I just feel so bloody stuck sometimes because I have no clue what I would do for a job if I went looking for one. Feel like all I was ever trained for really was theatre and that doesn't really pay the bills. Sure I could go back to building sets and try to get back into acting, but what about eating and having rent on time? Just don't know.

Ack....one week from this Saturday and I'm not ready for that either. Part of me wants to just go butt ass crazy and drive up to the city and get hammered...but that's not really me. Not to mention the idea of driving afterwards. When did I get so dull and boring? Where did my sense of adventure go? Hell, I used to go all over the North Bay area to raves only 6 years ago damnit! Scary to think about but have I "grown up"? Did I somehow become an "adult" without realizing it? I so desparately don't want to be like my parents. I watched my father do nothing but go to work and watch Tv. But, it's safe here in the studio, and comfortable and I can take off my pants if I want and run around in boxers. Maybe it's all the not playing videogames lately hehe. I just don't feel like the age I'm about to turn in basically two weeks. Le sigh.

Alright I've depressed everyone enough. I'm going to see if I can kick some asses in Kingdom Hearts. Hell, I may just pull out Midnight Club and race around the city like a maniac. I tell ya, videogames are definately therapudic at times. Think I just need to get over myself and do something...anything. Feh. Maybe I'll just go to bed.

Be safe. Be happy. Be PROUD. Be loved.