Friends and Music

Success, slightly, well maybe. We'll see. I got five more pages done on my 10 page play. I'm up to six and I think I have enough stuff set in motion to carry it through to the full 10 if not a bit more. Of course, that means tomorrow night is more writing, then comes the rewrites. All of this on top of the fact that I haven't read the lesson yet. Stupid I know but I wanted to get the play out onto paper and then see what my prof had to say in the lesson and work backwards sort of. More important to me to have it all done first really.

So my buddy Larry had an interesting post today about music (he's on the right there so check his blog out ok?). Music does have weird sense memories attached to it. Now, I use music like a drug sometimes. I use it to pick me up, drop me down a little and mellow me, ease my mind when I'm worried or upset, and sometimes just to force me to go out of my head into the nether regions to commune. Sounds hippy dippy trippy? Well it works for me. Point being, what songs cause my mind to wander to places?

Beethoven's Appationata - it was the song he and shared. It was the song I couldn't listen to without thinking of him and what had happened. It's the song I don't know if I can listen to again yet.

Go West by the Pet Shop Boys - I'm dancing at the edge with Doll and James and we're doing out dance, the one we created for the song, and Jimbo is dancing along with us.

Life In A Nothern Town - I'm spinning around the floor of the back room of the Edge. It's almost closed and it's one of the last songs. There's tons of room to move and I take full advantage of it

You've Got A Friend by James Taylor - Comfort, sweet melancholy, late nights at 3am when I can't sleep

There are more but I can't think really tonight. I know that sometimes there's a trance song that makes me think of old raver days, there are songs from musicals that make my heart leap and burst like a phoenix, Jason Mraz songs that I sing along with full voice to get the angst out of me. What would you do without music? I don't know what I would do. It would just be a really sad sad place without it.

So...roughly two weeks and I'm done with this class. One more week or so and I get to go and see Wicked! *doing a little Snoopy dance of joy* I can't wait. I mean I can't wait cause I'm gonna be so excited I may just throw up in my mouth a little! What is it with us homos and musicals anyways? Not that I'm looking forward to all the shows in Best of Broadway. I'm going to sell my seats for Annie because, well I just don't need to see that again. But to go to a show that you know it headed for, or has come from Broadway? Now that's exciting to me. Have to figure out what to wear hehe.

Dear god tomorrow is Wenesday. Half way through the week and Thursday is my friend's birthday! EEK! I have no clue what to get for her. I guess it's going to have to be a card and maybe I can whip up something in the kitchen. Just all seems to be coming at mach speed lately. Life in general lately seems to be going at mach speed. I could use a bit of a rest. I could definately use a vacation so November better get here fast dammit. I need Disneyland. I need a chance to just relax and have fun and be around friends. Even my old companion the PS2 isn't doing it really lately. Probably just been too hot for me I guess. I don't know. A little slower paced life where I wasn't up at 5am would be nice though.

Again no Ben today. Made me think about how I sometimes feel that there's never going to be the Mr. Right out there for me. I guess this solitary life isn't so bad all of the time. I do have good friends that I hang with, but it's different when you know that 90% of your friends are invovled with someone else. Of course there's the family thing but we won't go into that because I haven't felt close to my family for years now. I think I built my own family out of necessity. We all found each other for some odd reason and there you go. Back to Mr. Right for a second here...

Is there really a right person for everyone? Is there ever? I used to go to a Gay/Les/Bi/Transgender club when I first moved out here and thought I'd find a boyfriend. Well guess what folks, didn't work. I tried going out. Yeah, that worked really well cause I can hardly walk up and speak to someone without feeling like an idiot in that situation. I hoped that my friends would introduce me to someone. That hasn't happened. And the ones that want to introduce me to people live far away. So...I'm stuck. I'm stuck with hoping that he's going to walk through the doors of my cafe and BOOM! I did try dating a couple of people but it just didn't work out. One was a bit psychotic, the other was a bit selfish, and I just can't seem to find the guys that work for me without them being straight. I'm no longer interested in just "hooking up" with someone. I think I may have been once, but not anymore. I want that long term thing I see my friends have. Sure you get fights from time to time but that comes with the territory. Just wish I knew where to go to find him.

I need to shave, so I think I'm out of here for now. Maybe I'll come back all refreshed tomorrow having finished my play and read my assignment and the play will fit it perfectly. Oish I'm a dreamer :)