Almost Thanksgiving

I wish that I could find a way to allow you to smell what's been coming from my kitchen tonight. Rich apple tartness like a Granny Smith crisp and bold, Cinnamon wafting over it slightly just so you know it's there, and Vanilla luxuriating the whole thing. That's right, I've been cooking for Thanksgiving. I was told to bring ice cream. I'm never bland with it so this year it is an Apple/Cinnamon ice cream with a apple carmel cream sauce. Hopefully this all works because I haven't tried Cinnamon in ice cream and I used three sticks so...we'll see if it's too strong tomorrow. You're damn right the chef has the right to try the product first!

Things have been moving slowly for me. Odd things happening like Altboy coming in the other day. I haven't seen that cat for maybe 2 months and what does he tell me? "My girlfriend bought me a coffeemaker." Well, that about covers that one now doesn't it? Good-bye Altboy. You're lovely to look at but I was over you anyways.

My dearest family and I took high tea on Saturday and it couldn't have come at a better time. I miss them a lot. We all sat around laughing, insulting one another and in general, enjoyings the company we were in. Besides, i had never had "high tea" and the room was beautiful. I'll post some shots later maybe. The best was going to see Harry Potter with them afterwards. I think in all I spent maybe 5 hours with my family and it made me excessively happy.

Now, tomorrow, I get to go see RENT thanks to my sister. You see, my relatives seem to care less about me. I care less about them because of it. They can't take the time to call me even so they can all FOD. The only person that does try and contact me is my mom, and I just don't want to deal with her games. Too much drama. May sound harsh but my real family, the ones I'm related to...well I don't really know them and they don't know me anymore. Since niether of my brothers bothers to try and talk to me...what should I care? The people I consider my family have never forgotten me though, and has always been there even when I didn't feel I was worthy of them. They actually make me feel loved, accepted, and understood. So Didi, Desi, Delirium my sweet, and Destruction....I love you all immensely.

I hope that you all have a great Thanksgiving. I'll be thinking of a lot this year, probably more than I have before. Just the feeling I have about it right now. I'm spending the day with D and H and their parents....we'll see how wierd this is when I get there I guess. Still, at least someone out there wanted me to be with them. People that I love a lot. Having been the one that was usually last in line for things, or the fifth wheel a lot, it actually means a great deal to me. I don't know how to tell them that without sounding all sentimental and stupid. Just the fact that H asked what I was doing for Thanksgiving meant a lot. Meant I wouldn't be sitting here staring at TV screen eating fast food. Been feeling like I was invisible around work lately and sometimes in the world in general. What's worse is that I probably did that to myself.

Been thinking about how I am coming up on a milestone this year, plus the fact that my blog is almost 6 months old now. I suppose I should go back and see what the hell I've been rambling about over the past half year. Sometime I wonder why I keep doing this. Sometimes I write just for me and it's about venting. My dream though? Maybe one day I'll say the write thing and change someone's life for the better. Stupid I know but it's my dream so if you don't believe it can happen...well it will just make me try and make it happen all the more.