Revealing myself

At any given moment,
I am too many people to count
from the din that buzzes in my brain
and spills out into my life
and cease to let me be who and what I really am.

I am not my father.
That person is dead and long gone,
buried in a place that I will never see again.
But the anger lives on inside me.
And he whispers in my ears at the wrong time,
when I'm vulnerable,
and needy,
and subtle.

I place masks on my face daily
so that the croweded streets can't touch me.
So that person that I know as me can be safe.

I hate.
I feel the outside pushing in on me,
and the inside trying to keep itself as it should be.
Peace is a thing I used to know about,
and The Goddess's face,
and the powers of the Universe
that seem to slip through my fingers because of this
damn world.

I'll cage myself away again,
lock it up tightly.
Smile for the cameras.
This world is not the one I was meant to exist in.
I simply take up space here now.