Friday, June 24, 2005

Oh mystery of life

Although most people reading this won't know what was going on over on my LiveJournal site, the skinny is that I have been obessing over a guy named Ben that is a customer in my shop. I think he's amazingly gorgeous, kinda geeky but in that really cute way, a great smile, and I have no idea if he's even gay.

Now I've asked Ben out a couple of times. These were "dates" where I was going out with a couple of friends and I thought that had to be innocent enough right? Well both times he couldn't come along. I started to think that he was straight and therefore, unattainable. I actually just want to get to know him because, we may not even be similar ya know? Sure I think he's cute, but I'm old fashion and I want to get to know the person and fall in love and blah blah blah before there's any hint at anything sexual. (and I wonder why I don't get dates) So it's been a couple of months I think. As I said, I finally just gave up to some degree.

There he was this morning getting his normal drink, and I asked him what I ask most customers who I like, "So what are you doing this weekend? Big plans?" His responce was that he was going out tonight and then he hit me with the bomb of all bombshells, "I'll probably do something for Pride on Saturday." Ok. I guess I didn't hear him well because I probably looked a bit confused. The cafe can get rather loud at times, so he repeated it. "Pride, think I'm gonna do something for Pride this weekend." Well, if that's not an answer to one question, then what the hell is?

Now comes a painful process for me. I have to find my balls and ask him out. I have to see if he's at all interested in going out with me. Wanna talk about fear here? Wanna talk about my stomach not just turning over but invertting and shrinking at the same time? Wish I knew how to do this because I only see him while I'm at work. I have no phone number for him and pushing him mine might be wierd. I have no way to contact him and I guess I can just ask if he wants to go to lunch sometime, but isn't that wierd too? I'd be a bit wierded out if a guy at the reg where I was buying something asked me out that way infront of everyone. Just wish I could get my little grey cells to find the right answer to this question.

On the flip side of things, I'm gonna pump a link here to another blogger's site and ask everyone to take a look at it and consider signing a petition. I'm a big advocate of kids not having a messed up life anymore than it already is and when I read about this I almost started crying because I was so angry. http://bluedragn7925.blogspot.com/ Remember to thank Jamie for posting this. I gotta go back and do that too. Kinda put a damper on what was an amazing day. I just hope that there's something we can actually do about this.

I know it's been a bit gloom and doom here on the site, but I think things are going to pick up a bit for me. I'm looking into starting an online class at a local Jr. College for playwriting. I had a class in college that taught it but I have heard really good things about the teach from my friend Dan that just took it. I wouldn't have to anything more than write and post stuff to their site. Hell, I ain't doing it for credits so, why not right? Ok, so it's around $80 but, if I come out of this with a viable play? You bet I'm gonna try and get it produced. Sides, I miss having an artistic side.

Ah....life. What a wierd and wacky think it really is. Too bad I have to work tomorrow morning. Pride Parade in San Francisco and I can't make it. Well, maybe I could for a little but I'd have to take a train and I don't know if it's worth it at that point. Sides, I'm usually kinda dead in the brain after work so...we'll see. Just hope that Ben comes through tomorrow. At least then I'd have a brief chance to figure out what to say/do. Hm, watch him walk in with a cute guy on his arm hehe. That would truly be the story of my life!

Oh....and many thanks to Larry for, without him knowing it, helping me to figure out how to link and cool ideas for links for my blog.

2 comments:

Larry said...

Weatherpixie thief!


:)

Michael The Shadow said...

Hey, at least I got the Goth one hehe. :)