Friday, June 17, 2005

What a great adventure

So what does Michael do for fun when it's the weekend? Why of course, he re-organizes his Itunes collection. I have no idea how long I was sitting here. I know it's 11:30, but I don't know when I started. I tend to get obsessive about music. For instance, is Bob Dylan rock, or is he Classic rock, or is he folk? (well he's not folk but he started that way) Siouxsie is goth? Is she "darkwave", new wave? You get the idea. After almost 5000 mp3, I think my eyes are going to pop out of my head and my brain is going to ooze slowly out of my ears. But I couldn't stop. I was on a mission. Now if I can only get my Cds organized (and all of them on the computer and properly filed away by genre of music), then maybe I'm really ready to....well I don't know what.

All in all it wasn't such a bad day. I did very little once I got home. I decided to lay down and watch a movie (Nomi's Song which was really interesting), got up and picked up my laundry and hit the post office to pop some letters in the post. Thought about dinner but I wasn't hungry then. So, it's 7-11 sandwich and Lime Diet Coke for dinner for me. (I'm addicted to the lime Diet now)

Been thinking about my friend J again, or rather I woke up thinking about him. I just can't seem to get past the fact that I loaned him a great deal of money and I don't think he is all that interested in paying it back anytime soon. Now, mind you, I haven't asked him outright for the money (rather the part that I would like to have right now), but looking at the way things are going ... cold day in hell is how I see it. He once called me selfish because I didn't want to go to the store with him one afternoon. I was tired and just wanted to lay down after work. Funny that. I'm selfish but the more I think about him, he's self centered. Ack...enough of this or my blood might boil up again.

I had mentioned in a previous post about the outcasts in Junior high. We were a great troupe. There were only about 4 of us. Myself, Steven, Michael E (who I haven't seen since graduation), and Jim. Now, none of them new I was gay. Just wouldnt have gone over well in Junior high I think. We did all sit together at lunch though and make jokes, and it was the table of the "losers". I was never popular in Junior High. I was overweight and wore glasses, played in band for a year and then switched to Chior. Michael and Steve were both in the band though. I don't recall what Jim did. Not important I guess but it's funny how your mind brings things around to you. I had a crush on Jim. Hell, I thought he was hot. Don't think I ever told anyone that, not even Steve who is still a good friend of mine even if he does live in England now.

I wonder who's sitting at our table. I wonder if it's another group of misfits that eventually will grow up to be decent people. That's the funniest thing to me. The popular kids? Well, from what I know of a few of them, they're assholes just like they were then. I know that people change, but I also know that Paul (who I've known since first grade) is an asshole of a grande degree. Wish I could somehow impart this wisdom to my nephew. He's only 8, but maybe it would make a big difference in his life if he knew that you can't walk over people. Being unpopular can make you stronger. Most imporantly, life isn't about who's the most popular but who's trying to be the best human that they can. I don't really talk with my family much because we're very different people. Not sure what my brother would think if I should put this pearl of wisdom out there for my nephew. Last thing I need is to be the "meddling" uncle.

What an odd night. I sat in mostly silence all through the time I was sorting my music, but now, after a quick drive to the 7, it's starting to pick up steam. Usually means that I need to try and numb it out with a movie. I doubt I have the attention skills to really play my Batman game right now. So, my friends and loved ones (cause there's probably only three of ya that read this hehe), I'm off for a grande dinner of expensive fine foods, and quite possibly some theatre tickets to watch Sunday in the Park With George (thank ya Netflix). We'll see what tomorrow can bring to a loser that, for unkown reasons to himself, feels more like a winner now.

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