Saturday, June 11, 2005

What a party animal I am not

Oh my achin head. Ok, so it's not a hangover, or really a headache but I think I slept too long last night. I feel muddy. I feel kind of like I'm wading through the day here but, it is Saturday so I guess that's alright.

I realized last night, after renting a car to drive to San Francisco, that supporting your friends can be a real chore at times. My friends have a band and they were having a cd release party at a bar/club. It was supposed to be starting at 7pm. I ran into two of the members at my coffee shop and they told me they weren't going to head up until around 8. Ok, I thought, they'll be on stage around 10ish and I'll drive home and get some sleep afterwards. Doesn't always work out right as you all know.

The band didn't take the stage until around 11:30 last night. Now, I'm all for having a good time, but I wasn't going to be drinking last night and I had gotten a late start anyway. I hadn't really had much to eat so I was tired and a bit hungry. I had stopped for coffee at my shop (and to pick up my Thomas Bros. guide which is indespensible when driving in San Francisco), and headed out. By the time I had found the club and parked, it was around 10. The opening band hadn't even taken the stage and everyone kept trying to buy me drinks. That's when it really all started for me.

I love these people. They are creative and sometimes wacky and seem to know how to have a good time. I apparently do not. I found I have nothing really to say to any of them. I wasn't feeling at all witty, or for that matter, extremely energetic. I chatted with a few people and then like the wallflower I am, found myself feeling like a hanger-on, watching as everyone esle had a good time. Now this isn't really new to me. I tend to go places and I focus on what's on stage rather than the people around me. I get lost in my own universe of music, or theatre, or whatever it may be. That's fine when you're at the movies, but when you are dealing with the public, well....I don't know what to say about that. And not knowing what to say to anyone? Well, what can you do about that? I dislike idle conversation for the most part because it tends to bore me and, worse yet, I realized I don't really have much in common with these people.

So there I am at a club in San Francisco on Friday night at roughly 11:30 as my friends begin their set, and I'm standing outside having a smoke (yeah sorry folks but I'm trying not to I swear), when I just up and left. I didn't even really think about it. I knew that no one was going to be looking for me, so I just got back in the rental and drove home. "Is this pathetic?", I wondered this morning. I mean really? Is it? I'm starting to think that it's just that I don't relate with these other people much.

After a bit of breakfast, I do feel better. Of course going to the comic shop (and buying We3, Marvel 1602, Ex Machina, and Nightcrawler) I feel a little lesser in the wallet but, it's turning out to be an ok day.

Funny how you're mind works when you least expect it because, after reading Larry's blog, I realized I had some wierd dreams last night. I don't know how the people were, I don't know where I was in the dream, and I have no clue what was going on...but I woke up feeling like I had just hung out with all my friends at the same time. I felt an odd sense of being loved, of finally fitting in somewhere. Why this has to happen in a dream state, I don't know.

My buddy James and I are planning to have a bit of coffee soon, and then hit a metaphysical bookstore so please, pray for my wallet. Breaking news will be transmitted along with pictures perhaps.

2 comments:

Larry said...

We are so alike it scares me.

Michael said...

Could be worse, could be exactly alike and then we'd be the same person and then there'd be trouble.