Thursday, June 30, 2005

I'm warning ain't pretty in here

It's getting late here for me. I have Meatloaf in the background singing about how "A kiss is a terrible thing to waste", and I'm not feeling so swell. I don't know if it's the heat, or the fact that I've had trouble sleeping but right now I just feel rather down. Been a long week and that probably adds to the issues in my head.

I started this class and I'm still excited by it. Everytime I think about my plays I just want to work on them. This is not a good thing to have happen at work because there's no way for me to write anything while trying to serve customers. The only problem is that I have one more assignment this week to finish. I just don't feel up to it tonight and I wanted a free weekend. I wanted to go out tomorrow night, but I'd have to rent a car. Is it worth it? I just don't know. Maybe I'm just in a crappy mood but this all seems sort of important right now and even more important than it really is.

I guess the biggest issue is this guy from the shop. I want to ask him out. I want to just go out and have dinner, or coffee, or see a movie with him. Sounds innocuous right? Well he has to say yes to begin with. I have to have the nerve to ask him at work for second. And the third? I've almost convinced myself that I am not even close to what he's looking for. Hell, I'm shooting myself down before he gets a chance and do you know why? That way it won't be as bad if and when he does. I'm not trying to set myself up for failure here folks but let's face it, no one likes to hear these phrases when trying to get someone to go out with them to see if they can be compatible in a relationship:

"I like you, as a friend."
"You're a nice guy but..."
"Sorry but you're really not what I'm looking for."

Yes, I've heard some of those. I hate the friend one the most. That's usually what I hear. Either that or, you're such a nice guy that I wouldn't want to mess up our friendship. Well you can read that, "you're nice but a loser and I would never date you even if you looked like Brad Pitt".

Why is it so damn hard to find someone that you're compatible with who lives in the same bloody city you do? Hell, I'd even take them living in the surrounding areas of my city. I don't know what's set me off here on all of this and no one likes to hear people complain so it's time I head out.

I am proud of myself for finishing one assignment though. I even turn it in way early. At least I feel I did something that I can point to and say, "Look. That comes from me." and the comments seems favourable about what I've written so far. Hell, maybe I'll write even better once I have more sleep in me over this weekend.

I'm off to find last night's pizza in my fridge, eat a little, play a little Batman and remind myself that it's Friday tomorrow and I won't have to wake up for 3 days after if I don't want to.

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