The long and winding mind

I've had this wierd feeling lately that something is happening to me. I can't pin it down is the problem. So, if y'all will pardon me I'm just gonna spill my spleen here for a little.

I had this idea today for a road trip. Just me and my car and my music and the open roads ya know? Talked with my boss about it and he seemed ok with it but it means I have to save save save like a madman. I want to just head out towards the other coast and meet some of the folks who's blogs I read. I mean, the ones I read daily start feeling more and more like I know them relatively well but I'm scared cause I don't know if I'd live up to who they may think I am ya know? Just...I need to really connect with people.

My friends here are great but I hardly see any of them because everyone has wierd scheduals, some of them are in plays currently, or school, or have odd work days...so I find myself sitting here at the computer more and more. That ain't right. I need people. I mean I really need people around me and here I sit (collecting more comic books >_<) and wondering what the hell I did with my life and where it's going. I have all these crazy dreams like running away and auditioning for Cirque Du Soliel (yes they take actors not just the sexy men you see doing the cool tricks), or blogging from the road somewhere in the US (if I can afford a laptop), or just finding a new job where I could have more of a social life...rather, not letting my job be my life.

And another thing dammit, I'm tired of worrying what people think about me or how they perceive me. Now that's the hardest one because out here in cyberland, people take me for who I am no questions asked it seems. In my day to day dulldromes though...I have to be a specific way to satisfy folks it seems. And yes, there are still people that make me feel like the fat kid I was in Jr. High who would run and hide a lot. So, who am I? Guess that's my big question lately.
Downside to all of this? I can't make this damn world work the way I wanted it too LOL! Cause sugars, I swear I would keep the good folks happy, the bad folks miserable, and I'd be this kick ass superduperuber fag superhero rescuin' those in need!

Hm....Superfag. Hm. Maybe a big red F on my chest? Something stylish with no cape thank you very much.

Decked out in knee high black leather boots, half finger leather gloves (black), some kinda tight muscly black shiny material shirt (with a big red or pink F on it), some kinda comfy pants and I'm thinking red or white actually...and yes...the long black (at least dark brown) coat flowing behind me. So watch out world! Superfag is gonna take you on babies.

But first I gotta get contact lenses:)

And I'll leave ya with my latest creation.....Cher Hair.

P.s. Thanks for those that commented on the poem. There may be more of them in the future.