Tra-la-la-la...I'm a happyish man

Well well well....just took a look at my online class and the prof liked my final play. I'm so happy I could spit blue fire from my eyes! This one was actually rather difficult for me to write. I was going into it with the intention of writing a horror play (because no one really writes them anymore) and I guess I succeeded. She thought it was "creepy", which to me is a good mark! Haven't gotten our final grades yet but so far everything I turned in received the maximum amount of points she could allocate. Looks like I have my first A in several years.

So, I had this idea this afternoon to blog about a different site. I was going to call this, "How to feel like loser in one easy lesson", but after reading my teacher's comments I'm a bit elated. The fact was this, I signed up for a Myspace account. Ok...I thought I could meet some more interesting people and who knows, maybe meet a nice guy right? So, I have so far sent out maybe 4-6 messages to different people and have heard....nothing. Wanna talk about not feelin good about yourself? It's stupid I know but, you think that if you are simply yourself that people would hopefully at least write you back. Not a word from any of them. I feel like I'm a freshman all over again, or worse, back in the 7th grade where I was the fat kid that the 8th graders picked on. (and yes I was actually rather rotund although I don't have any pictures of me from then thank god)

So what is it about we humans that makes us want the acceptance of others? Is it our egos? Mine is pretty bruised up over the years and I thought I had built the calluses to gaurd me but apparently not. Rejection, or worse, lack of a reply is still pretty harsh. We want to be wanted it seems. Why? I guess that's all retorical because I doubt there is a real answer for it all. Just really made me think about this all.

On the more upbeat note though, I'm done with class, my work was praised, I'm going to see Wicked on Saturday, I'll have a newer car soon, and the folks that leave comments here (most of who I should comment on their sites more) are really nice folks. I would say what more could I ask for in reguards to this wierd "online" community, but I know deep down it's *whispering* a boyfriend. For lack of that particular man...I got my friends, and they are amazing and keep me knowing that someone out there at least cares enough to read this silly place. The ones I know off line keep me in the knowledge that I am loved for who I am, not what I look like or how much money I make. Now that IS enough.